Hair Skeered!!!!!

I'm freaking out! So skeered!! Which is a whole other level of scared...Hands are sweatin', hearts a racin' and I think I'm gonna puke! Why??? 'Cuz I'm getting ready to get my hair done! Please tell me I'm not the only one with an unnatural fear of the hair salon.  I cannot take the pressure. What kind of cut? What color? Lo-lights, hi-lights, all over color??? It's all so....permanent! Well, until 6 weeks later when there's a nice color line on the top of my head separating the light from the dark and the grays come out to play.  Cheeky little buggers.... I am so salon aversive that my husband actually forces me to go.  And, when I say force, I mean he calls me at 3:30 as I'm waiting at the deli counter with my two youngest kids who are acting like wild animals let out of their cage, already late picking up my oldest from school and tells me to be at the salon at 5:15.  Oh, why can't I just stay gray headed and ponytailed???  So here I sit, in the chair.  The stylist and I have consulted, meaning I have agreed to whatever she is saying because I'm clueless and panic ridden.  I must cover the grays...Big Daddy said so. So, color it is. I don't want a flat look so highlights, too. But, I don't want to look blonde. My natural coloring is red so let's play with that a bit. See how I try to sound like I know what I'm talking about???  Ok...colors have been picked, mixed and are now being slathered all over my head. Die grays...Die!!!  And then, a guy walks in the back door of the salon for a cut drinking out of a red solo cup.  All I want to know is, where's the keg? Instantly, I feel more relaxed. There's just something comforting about a red solo cup.  Wish I had one, too.... It would lessen my shock and horror as I look at myself in the fabulous full body mirrors they have.  Oh sweet Lord...do my thighs really spread out that much when I sit down? Ugggghhhh..... Ok...let's talk cut now.  I need to keep it long enough to do a ponytail and not too short that I have to fix it everyday. Oh and I have about 3 different lengths going on thanks to the two rounds of post baby hair loss and now regrowth.  Long layers it is.  At this point....I've been there almost 3 hrs and it's past baby's bedtime.  My panic has now shifted to what is going on at home and the potential horrors that await my return.  Kids running crazy, dishes overflowing in the kitchen, baby half dressed and screaming???? What? All done? I take a deep breath and look in the mirror. A lot darker than I thought but I don't see any grays and it is fall so darker is good. All in all...not too shabby.  I think I like it! Alright, ring me up...I've gotta go save my home! Mad dash to the house, stressing all the way...pull in front to see all of the Halloween lights are on in the yard....Big Daddy NEVER turns on the deco and I feel a glimmer of hope. I bust in the door to a completely quiet house, clean kitchen, Halloween lights inside are on and Big Daddy is standing in the den holding a completely calm baby (dressed in summer clothes) with his hands over his eyes awaiting the big reveal. Approval is unanimous...all 3 of my big guys love the new hair.  Feeling really loved and then Big Daddy says...."Awwww, I've got my pretty wife back!"  Really, so I was your ugly wife before the cut and color!?!?!!! It's a good thing he's cute...and cleaned the kitchen!