Monday, June 30, 2014

Mom just thought pregnancy caused it!

Ahhh, Mom happens. You have kids and with each one, your cute little perky bubble butt gets a bit flatter and longer and no amount of Brazilian Butt Lift is gonna bring it back.  We chalk it up to pregnancy...I mean pregnancy completely transforms the female body, boobs change, hair changes..dang, feet can even change.  But, as I sit here and rock my sweet little baby who thinks waking up before 6 is completely acceptable...BTW, it is NOT! It's completely unacceptable, downright ungodly....I realize pregnancy was only a small part of my beautiful bootie's demise. I rock and rock...and my butt gets numb...and I realize....this dadgum rocking chair gave me Mom Butt!!! Oh the hours I have spent, nursing, cuddling, crying, begging and pleading for sleep in this rocking chair, all while my butt gets flatter and flatter. I then think about all the other culprits....sitting in school pick-up/drop-off car lines, doctor's office waiting rooms, auditorium seats for countless school programs, camp chairs and bleachers for sporting events...oh Lord, there's nothing like bleacher butt!!  Then, it hits me....I didn't get  a Mom Butt because I "had" children, I got one because I "have" kids! I have earned it! I have rocked and nursed, waited and watched and my butt grew numb but my heart grew full. So, hike those Mom jeans a little higher and be proud of that Mom Butt! You earned it!!! And, the numbness will wear off eventually, I promise.
Just one of the best SNL skits evah!  "Mom Jeans"

Friday, June 27, 2014

Wedded Bliss?!?!

Today marks 16 years of marriage to the most amazing man in the world.  How amazing, you ask??  He's so amazing that we just welcomed our 3rd child five years after his vasectomy, yep...just call him Superman - but, that's another post for another day ;)  As I sit here, surrounded by the chaos that is 3 boys - 2 of which are screaming that they need more toilet paper, attempting to blog and do laundry....I think back over those 16 years of marriage and sigh and smile.
See, I never was that little girl that dreamed of her wedding day....the fluffy white dress, elaborate wedding and complete extravagance.  Thank the Lord for my mother, grandmother and aunt....without them, my wedding day would have been a hot mess!  Instead, I dreamed of what married and family life would be like.  I imagined the day to day, the "mundane", the quiet moments and the crazy ones.  Family dinners, vacations, school and sport functions.  That is what I dreamed of.  And, I can honestly say, this man has given me all of this and so much more.  Especially the sport functions seeing as we have nothing but boys.... Now, don't get me hasn't been easy and it hasn't always been fun, but it has always been love.  We have had our share of ups and downs but we have made it, stronger each year.  We're that couple who actually likes to hang together.  Many times, we will even choose to chill together rather than hit the town with friends.  See, we've not only been married for 16 years, we've been together for 22 years - exclusively!  Yep, we're high school sweethearts - we even made it through college together - only "breaking up" for a full 24 hours.  With a 50% divorce rate in this country, I'd say we're doing pretty darn good.
Plus, it's too much work training a man, one is enough for me!  Oh yeah, we're in it to win it!  I honestly cannot imagine my life without this man and these 3 crazy boys he gave me the privilege of parenting.  And, thank God we're parenting them together 'cuz they wear my tail out!

Monday, June 23, 2014

The Top 10 Things You Will Do When You Decide To Cloth Diaper Your Little One's Bumm Bumm....

Ok, here's the are pregnant - maybe your first, maybe your fourth and you see a cutie bootie in a...cloth diaper. Now, here's the deal - at first you think it's just a diaper cover, there is no way a cloth diaper could be so cute! Where are the bunchy prefolds, plastic covers and diaper pins?? Velcro and snaps, mustache and chevron prints? Are you kidding me? Oh, I've got to get in on this! And you decide right then and there - I am going to cloth diaper this little one's bumm bumm! Now what??? Prior to your kiddo entering the world of cloth diapers, you will have grand ideas and then once you actually place that first cloth diaper on your kiddo....Well, here are

"The Top 10 Things You Will Really Do When You Decide To Cloth Diaper Your Little One's Bumm Bumm...."

10. Prior to actually purchasing the first diaper, You WILL pin everything possible relating to cloth diapering on Pinterest...
You will probably have a board specifically for this purpose. Once you put that first diaper on your little one's bumm, you will promptly forget about all those pins 'cuz now you have a baby and who's got time for Pinterest when you have a baby!?!?!

9. You WILL decide prematurely on a particular diaper system...whether it's velcro, snaps, AIO's, pockets or prefolds and then you will completely change your mind once you actually start cloth diapering because every kid is different and all cloth diapers are NOT created equally.

8. If you fancy yourself a little crafty, you WILL entertain the thought of making your own cloth diapers - how hard can they be?? And, then you will try one and you WILL NOT make your own cloth this only me???

7. Your non-cloth diapering friends WILL think you're crazy....this will not change after you start cloth diapering. They will still think you're crazy but, they will definitely think the diapers are cute!

6. You WILL go gaga over all the ridiculously adorable prints and patterns that cloth diapers are today. 
You WILL order them all and then sit in giddy anticipation as you wait to hear the squeal of the UPS truck's brakes as you wait for your "fluff mail" to arrive. You WILL actually say "fluff mail" and probably have to join FMA "Fluff Mail Anonymous" because purchasing cloth diapers is 100% an addiction.

5. You WILL Google like crazy and stress over how to prep and clean the diapers...just the thought of having to "strip" the diapers gives you heart palpitations...but you WILL press on.
You WILL actually ignore all of the other laundry piling up in the house just to do diaper laundry.

4. You WILL feel so many emotions when you finally place that first cloth diaper on your little one....excitement, glee, a sense of accomplishment and unmeasurable fear that your baby will poop.

3. You WILL (just barely) survive the first poop and then you WILL buy flushable diaper liners 

2. You WILL entertain the thought of cloth baby wipes and then you WILL explore the option of flushable baby wipes...oh, just me again??

And the #1 Thing You Will Do When You Decide To Cloth Diaper Your Little One's Bumm Bumm...

1. You WILL have done something amazing for your kiddo and the earth and that's pretty stinkin' cool :)

Happy Cloth Diapering!!!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Incognito Cussing

Yep, I'm a cusser....a bonafide potty mouthed sailor trash talker.  And, I have kids...and kids and cussin' don't mix.  What's cussin' you ask? Oh, you must not be from the's "cursing" or "swearing"....and I do it, alot!  It just feels so good to let one fly when the bottom busts out of your grocery bag or you stub your toe ambling down the hall to put the crying baby back to sleep, again.  It's that ultimate "grown-up" release until....your kid starts talking.  Yep, that little one that you used to just sit and baby babble while you uttered words that could pull the paint off the walls, is talking. And, it's soooo cute, Mama, Dada, ball, doggie and then Bam!!  You experience the Christmas Story moment and you completely freak out.....Ralphiesoap -  Where did you hear that word!?!?!
So, you ban all cussing 4 ever...and that lasts a whole week....but you really really try!!  You start making up new words....they don't have the same power and they usually sound ridiculous, but they're all you got.  My personal "Cuss Word Cover-Up" faves are "Son of a Monkey", "Aww, Shmells No!",and "SheNaNa!" (short e, long a)  Yep - pretty ridiculous, but they serve their purpose and it keeps those little mouths clean....and I'm not referencing the soap...  Speaking of this method of punishment, how many of you have endured the dreaded "Soap In The Mouth"???  Threatened by parents all over the world, used by some, perfected by others...and then there's my Mom.  Apparently, I was a born cusser and was punished for my potty mouth often.  However, lacking the needed "bar" of soap at certain moments...I endured the liquid pump soap swipe in the mouth.  Not sure it was too effective as I gagged and we laughed through the whole "punishment"  Especially since she told me to say "Fiddlesticks" instead of my beloved dirty words..."Fiddlesticks"?!?!, Really!?!? God love her!! What are your favorite "Cuss Word Cover-Ups"?

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


Coffee....the only thing worth getting up for in the morning.  Well, I mean besides your husband, children and working for the better good of mankind. Since I am a nursing momma to a "highly alert" child who is sensitive to dairy, in other words...this kid don't sleep and pukes like a frat boy after an all night mixer if I eat too much cheese....., I have had to resort to....DECAF...straight!!! Such a dirty word.... Well, I found this coffee concoction this morning and I think I can live with my daily dose of, gasp...decaf. Not only does this taste amazing but it is soooo good for you....thank you Wellness Mama, I will survive!

1 cup prepared coffee - organic, herbal, chai is ideal but use whatever ya got
1 tbsp coconut oil
1tsp butter - organic,unsalted, unpasteurized, grass fed is best
1/4 tsp vanilla
sweetener of your choice to taste - optional

Place all items in a blender or food processor and blend until it is a cup of frothy goodness


Here is the link to Wellness Mama's full article :)

Monday, June 16, 2014

Food...Glorious Food!

I LOVE FOOD!!!  I love it all!!!  And, I love it even more when I don't have to cook it or clean it up ;)  However, I'm not just a crazy momma and housewife with a household that doesn't quit, I'm also a crazy momma and housewife with a household that doesn't quit who lives with fibromyalgia.  Wha???? Fibromyalgia - a disorder which is characterized by widespread muscoloskeletal pain which can also include fatique, sleep, memory and mood issues. (definition loosely lifted from the Mayo Clinic site)
 In a nutshell, you hurt...a lot...and you're really tired...and you hurt...a lot.  yep, it pretty much sucks but I'm a Momma and Mommas don't quit!  So, what does this have to do with food, you ask???  Well, for me...everything.  I tried the meds and they made me feel cray cray...I'm not really a med kinda person. So, I started looking into natural treatments.  Acupuncture, Chiro and healthy lifestyle changes.  When I discovered that fibro is a neurotransmitter disorder...(you know - those signals your body sends to your brain to tell you how to feel???)  I started to look at the ingredients in my food and found that many were neurotransmitter inhibitors (basically they jack up those messages your body is sending to your brain) Artificial ingredients....fake sugars, preservatives, dyes....were wreaking havoc on my body.  So, I decided to venture into the world of clean eating and um, excuse me, this is still a hard pill to swallow....exercise.  And, I pretty much suck at both but I try really hard because it helps, it really really helps with the pain and fatigue and hey, it's good for me!  I fell off the wagon hard core while I was preggo 'cuz all those awesome preggo hormones kept the fibro at bay and remember how I told you I loved food? Well, let's just say I really loved me some food while I was preggo :)  So, now that baby is 6 mos old and those happy juices have left the building, the fibro is moving back in and it's time to get back on track.  So, I thought I would start a page full of recipes and meal ideas.  Disclaimer:  I am not a chef, culinary expert or nutritional guru.  I've just figured out what works for me and it might work for you - if nothing else, it's just good for ya :)  I promise - nothing will be too difficult or require too many ingredients...Ain't nobody got time for that!  I'm also up for new ideas and recipes too - so feel free to share your greatest creations with me!!!   Hopefully, this will help keep me on the wagon!! Hey, do I smell cookies???? ;)

Friday, June 13, 2014

Zombie Mom

Legend has it of a being that roams and moans through the day.  Be aware....this entity may pop up anywhere.....the grocery store, gas station, school functions and soccer practices. Sometimes they look just like anyone else...other times their eyes are bugging out, hair is stringy, their clothes look slept in and they are mumbling and moaning.  You may see them pouring orange juice into their cereal or wearing two different shoes.  One telltale sign is they are ALWAYS accompanied by one or more children.  These said children are usually high energy, jumping and practicing their ninja like moves on unsuspecting grocery displays. This can set the being into a sudden burst of nothing short of insanity.  Some words are intelligible but it's mostly a conglomeration of each of the kid's names.."!!!" Sometimes, they even throw in said children's father's name.  If there are animals that travel with the pack...their names may pop up, too. If you encounter this not run, do not be's just Zombie Mom. She can't help being like this, she is a tortured soul....she hasn't slept in days due to.....her children.  Again, don't be afraid! This zombie does not want to eat your brains....they instead wander aimlessly moaning for "Sleeeep". If one of your loved ones is a Zombie Mom, don't despair, there is a very successful treatment........lead Zombie Mom to the nearest soft surface and take the children for ice cream, arcade visit or even the back yard to play.  A little bit of uninterrupted sleep should turn that mumbling, moaning, crazy Zombie Mom back ino that loving, sweet, crazy mom you once knew.  Until, the baby cuts his next tooth......mwahahaahaaa!!!!!

Monday, June 9, 2014

Sweet, Sweet Summer! Lord, help me!!!!

It's officially summer!! So far, we have: spent 5 hours at our local waterpark/theme park, numerous hours at the pool, attended a cook-out, birthday party, graduation party and an end of season soccer party.  The boys have also slept in a tent set up in the loft, watched too much tv and played too many video games.  Oh, and I can't forget about the Monopoly game we started that will sit in the playroom floor all's an ongoing game. If you have never played Monopoly with your children, I suggest you start a game....and fast! Not only is it an excellent way to practice math and communication skills, but it's also an opportunity for you to witness the ruthless, conniving business mogul side of your children you didn't know existed....ummm, it can be eerily entertaining and downright scary! Oh, I forgot to's only our 5th full day of summer. Yes, we've been busy, having a blast, and I'm exhausted!!! So when one of my guys asked "what are we doing today?" I said..."nothing planned, just chillin'". His reply..."oh, so we're just gonna be bored all day???" "Oh, I'm sorry...I forgot...y'all are gonna be scrubbing bathrooms today!" Happy Summer!!!!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Last day of school!! Last day of school!!!

Yesterday was the last day of school for my two big boys. And, not just any last day of school....the last day of school as a 2nd and 5th grader. The oldest is headed to middle school...gasp!...and my rising 3rd grader will now be on the "big kid's" side of the school. This is huge! For them and for me :) But, I have to admit...I'm not that sad. I thought I would be inconsolable, depressed, a hot mess actually. But, as I sat in the car line waiting to pick them up...I was excited!! Excited for them, excited for me, excited for summer!!! We have been so fortunate to have an amazing school with remarkable teachers in a small community. My boys have been in this same school since kindergarten with most of the same children, something I did not experience as a child and something I desperately wanted for my children if at all possible. Now, don't get me an adult, I can look back and see the advantages to my "moving around" as a child. It made me the resilient, doesn't know a stranger, roll with the flow kinda "grown-up" I am today.  But, now, my oldest is trucking off to Middle School with those same kids he started his school adventure with. And to the Momma who went to 3 different elementary schools....that's pretty cool :)  I wish this same experience for my other two boys. However, if circumstances change and we find ourselves moving on down the line...I know they'll be fine, I've been there...done that. So, as I wait to pick up my boys and hear the kids on the buses yell and cheer as they roll by...I clap and cheer with them! Yes, alone in my car, windows down, sitting in the car line. For that moment...I feel their child like exuberance and cannot wait to get my boys in the car and start our summer adventure!! So here's to summer!!! No projects, no hmwk, low expectations.....staying up late and sleeping in tents, sun kissed noses and popsicles!!! I'm holding on to these great feelings until my boys utter those first "I'm boreds"....which will probably be in about 3 hours......

Monday, June 2, 2014

Cheap Thrill Thursday....on a Monday

So I had this great idea to post a pic each Thursday just for us Mommas. Cheap Thrill Thursday! Yes, I know it's Monday....I'm a Mom, I lose days at a time.... Anyway, these pics will be something to make ya tingle and giggle with glee.  A Chippendale's beefcake!?!?! Oh no, no, no...something waaaay better.  Wait for it.....drumroll please......Bam!
An empty laundry basket!!!!

You're welcome