Friday, June 13, 2014

Zombie Mom

Legend has it of a being that roams and moans through the day.  Be aware....this entity may pop up anywhere.....the grocery store, gas station, school functions and soccer practices. Sometimes they look just like anyone else...other times their eyes are bugging out, hair is stringy, their clothes look slept in and they are mumbling and moaning.  You may see them pouring orange juice into their cereal or wearing two different shoes.  One telltale sign is they are ALWAYS accompanied by one or more children.  These said children are usually high energy, jumping and practicing their ninja like moves on unsuspecting grocery displays. This can set the being into a sudden burst of nothing short of insanity.  Some words are intelligible but it's mostly a conglomeration of each of the kid's names.."!!!" Sometimes, they even throw in said children's father's name.  If there are animals that travel with the pack...their names may pop up, too. If you encounter this not run, do not be's just Zombie Mom. She can't help being like this, she is a tortured soul....she hasn't slept in days due to.....her children.  Again, don't be afraid! This zombie does not want to eat your brains....they instead wander aimlessly moaning for "Sleeeep". If one of your loved ones is a Zombie Mom, don't despair, there is a very successful treatment........lead Zombie Mom to the nearest soft surface and take the children for ice cream, arcade visit or even the back yard to play.  A little bit of uninterrupted sleep should turn that mumbling, moaning, crazy Zombie Mom back ino that loving, sweet, crazy mom you once knew.  Until, the baby cuts his next tooth......mwahahaahaaa!!!!!

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