Saturday, June 21, 2014

Incognito Cussing

Yep, I'm a cusser....a bonafide potty mouthed sailor trash talker.  And, I have kids...and kids and cussin' don't mix.  What's cussin' you ask? Oh, you must not be from the's "cursing" or "swearing"....and I do it, alot!  It just feels so good to let one fly when the bottom busts out of your grocery bag or you stub your toe ambling down the hall to put the crying baby back to sleep, again.  It's that ultimate "grown-up" release until....your kid starts talking.  Yep, that little one that you used to just sit and baby babble while you uttered words that could pull the paint off the walls, is talking. And, it's soooo cute, Mama, Dada, ball, doggie and then Bam!!  You experience the Christmas Story moment and you completely freak out.....Ralphiesoap -  Where did you hear that word!?!?!
So, you ban all cussing 4 ever...and that lasts a whole week....but you really really try!!  You start making up new words....they don't have the same power and they usually sound ridiculous, but they're all you got.  My personal "Cuss Word Cover-Up" faves are "Son of a Monkey", "Aww, Shmells No!",and "SheNaNa!" (short e, long a)  Yep - pretty ridiculous, but they serve their purpose and it keeps those little mouths clean....and I'm not referencing the soap...  Speaking of this method of punishment, how many of you have endured the dreaded "Soap In The Mouth"???  Threatened by parents all over the world, used by some, perfected by others...and then there's my Mom.  Apparently, I was a born cusser and was punished for my potty mouth often.  However, lacking the needed "bar" of soap at certain moments...I endured the liquid pump soap swipe in the mouth.  Not sure it was too effective as I gagged and we laughed through the whole "punishment"  Especially since she told me to say "Fiddlesticks" instead of my beloved dirty words..."Fiddlesticks"?!?!, Really!?!? God love her!! What are your favorite "Cuss Word Cover-Ups"?

No comments:

Post a Comment